Canadians suck too!

When I was in Cuba there were loads of Canadians commenting on how great it was that there were no annoying Americans around. Many Canadians gave this as a reason for choosing Cuba as their "Vacation destination". The fact is, I found Canadians to be virtually indistinguishable from the Yanks and just as annoying. Here's my top 5 reasons why:

1)Canadians sound like Americans.
2)They look like Americans.
3)They are called Larry and have fat wives.
4)Americans always film stuff in Canada but pretend it's the States. Even Americans can't tell the difference.
5)They think I am Australian because I don't sound like a Bond villain or Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.

In some ways Canada blows even harder than the US. Here's the top 5:

1)They're like the U.S. but they aren't the U.S. It's kind of like Pepsi and Pepsi Max.
2)Not all Canadians are actually Lumberjacks. That would be awesome.
3)They wear black socks with sandals. Not white. Black. Like it's cooler.
4)Think of a northern person. Now think of an American. Combine the two. This is a Canadian. If anything, Canadians are actually Scottish Americans. It's a bit like how the Dutch are Welsh Germans.
5)Loads of French people live there.