Underworld Contacts

Isn't it strange that there are certain things you accept as totally normal, but turn out to be freakishly weird when you experience them for yourself? Take, for example, driving. Everyone drives, but when you actually start learning it seems amazing that everyone goes through this process.

It's the same for me and my newly acquired contact lenses. I can't believe loads of people actually put little pieces of plastic onto their eyeball. You would imagine that this is a hardship that people will endure once so that their eyes will be fixed forever more, but no! This is something people have to do every day! And they they take them out again!

To put the lens in you would imagine some kind of anaesthetic is applied while a sophisticated robotic device implants the lens. Er, no, you have to do it yourself with your own bloody fingers! I have now realised we are not living in the future, as I previously believed!

I'm starting to get used to them, but I think my main problem is the combination of my piggy little eyes and massive fat sausage fingers. And the optic blasts.