I hope it begins...

I've made some mistakes in my time. This isn't my first blog, but hopefully it's the first honest one. I don't know why I feel compelled to expend the effort to put something out there that virtually no one will read, and I'm not going to explore that here in any depth. I guess it's really for my own satisfaction; it's therapeutic. What I want to do is to produce something without pretension, without embellishment and without passing off someone else's ideas as my own. So the first thing I do is name the blog after a line from the excellent film Withnail & I. I'm willing to admit that, which is at least a step in the right direction. It's a good title.

So what will I write about? I don't really do anything. I'm interested in making music and movies, but I don't. I like to write, but I hate what I write. I secretly think I'd make a good actor (does everyone?) but I've made virtually no effort to pursue the idea.

I'm worried about getting old. I'm Twenty-Five. That's still young, isn't it? But it's too late to do so much. I'll never be a Formula One driver. I'll never be a great martial artist. Life is getting faster. There's still time, time to prevent regrets, but I feel like I'm wasting it.

I am lucky though. I don't mean simply having a comfortable life, a good home and a loving wife, although I do have all that, but I mean things just seem to go my way. Little things, anyway. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I'm a very critical person. I find it easy to find the negative in something, perhaps that's why I find so hard to write a book, a song or a film. It means putting yourself out there, making yourself vulnerable for all time. I lack the conviction to ally my self to the lyrics of a pop song. The Who sang "I hope I die before I get old" They don't tend to perform that one anymore. Maybe Keith Moon changed their minds.

So it's come to this. I'm a frustrated creator. If I did more with my life, perhaps I'd have more to write about, more to say. So I'm writing a blog in order to motivate me into doing something
so I'll have something to write about. Warped, no? It just might work.